School can be a real problem for someone suffering from social phobia or social anxiety, while others use some form of school phobia as an excuse to not attend.

Social settings can be a huge problem for someone with social anxiety and school is one huge social setting.  You must interact with teachers, other students, and other school personnel. 

Schools are always trying to bring everyone together via sports, clubs, and other social functions like dances or parties.

School phobia is very real to some while others use school phobia as an excuse to stay home or hang out with friends.

School Phobia Real Problem or Excuse?

So how do you distinguish if someone has a real school phobia or if they are just using it as an excuse not to go to school?

I bring this up because I just read an article how a mom had to deal with this very issue.  You can read the entire article HERE.

I totally agree that this girl has school phobia, but I totally disagree with how the mom handled certain things.

The school board authorized payments of more than $45,000 to help this girl make up for her missed school days.  Okay, great, the school understands school phobia and they want to help; or is it great?

The mom has spent the money on tutoring and education software to help her school phobic daughter.  However it doesn’t stop there.  The mom also paid for modeling, teen magazines, and trips to New York and Toronto for camp.

Social phobia is a very real thing and school phobia is also a very real thing.  On the other hand, so is using school phobia and social phobia as an excuse to milk the system.

I totally disagree with 1, not getting help for this girl and allowing her to avoid school which is the worst thing you can do, and 2, spending taxpayer’s money on modeling and expensive trips!

This is why Social Phobia or School Phobia or Social Anxiety isn’t taken seriously.  It’s situations like this that make school phobia or social phobia look like an excuse rather than a valid phobia.

People with social anxiety tend to not express their feelings correctly.  Sometimes anxiety prone people don’t know what they are feeling and at other times are just afraid to express their feelings.

Feelings are a whole body experience, meaning if you are sad for instance, you may cry or your stomach might hurt.  Feelings and emotions can be felt throughout your entire body.

Your feelings are a direct result of what you are thinking.  They come from the way you perceive events around you.

Anxiety-Prone People Stifle Their Feelings

People with anxiety or social anxiety tend to stifle their feelings for fear of having a panic attack or an over-whelming feeling they can’t deal with.

Other times people with anxiety have a hard time expressing their feelings because no one has ever shown them how to do so correctly.

Discover exactly what or how you are feeling.  Are you anxious?  Depressed?  Scared?  Knowing exactly what you are feeling is an important step in expressing your feelings correctly.

If you are stuck, try to remember exactly what just happened or what you were thinking.  Write it down if you have to and figure out what you are truly feeling.

Express Your Feelings Correctly

It is important to let these feelings go rather than stifle them causing tension and more anxiety.  Talk to someone about what you are feeling. 

If you are not comfortable talking it out or there’s no one available to talk to then keep a journal and write it out.

If you are feeling anger, it is best to not talk to the one you are angry at when your anxiety is sky high.  Try to lower your anxiety first by screaming into a pillow, hitting a pillow, or anything physical to release some of the tension first.

Some people with anxiety tend to have anger issues and that isn’t good either.  For help with anger issues, I recommend Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion by Carol Tavris.

If you suffer from anxiety or social anxiety it is important to express your feelings correctly.  It is a learning process and one I am still working on, but practice makes perfect.  Good luck!

Those suffering from social anxiety actually dread most holidays, and we have another holiday worry upon us tomorrow; Mother’s Day.

Whether you are a mom or you have a mom, if you suffer from social anxiety, you are probably already worrying about tomorrow’s Holiday.

Another Holiday Worry!

Holiday’s are supposed to be a fun time in your life, but someone with social anxiety sees things a little differently.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow which means for some, another Holiday to worry about.  If you are a mom, you might worry about any “surprises” your children have in store for you. 

• Will you be dragged to the car kicking and screaming to “enjoy” eating at a restaurant?
• Will the telephone ring all day keeping your anxiety and fear at an all time high?
• Will your family invite “your long lost relatives” over for a barbecue?

If you are a daughter suffering from social anxiety, you are probably trying to come up with a slick way to not visit mom tomorrow.

• Will you stare at the telephone all day wondering how you’ll be able to call her?
• Are you frantically running through the house looking for a discarded gift so you don’t have to go to the store?
• Are you already feeling guilty because you’ve thought of the perfect excuse to not visit mom tomorrow?

If you suffer from social anxiety, I’m sure you can relate to some if not all of the worries listed above.  If you don’t suffer from social anxiety, you’re probably scratching your head in wonder or disbelief.

Trust me when I say, if none of the above pertains to you, consider yourself lucky.  Those with social anxiety know all too well what another Holiday worry means.